DAE feel completely disconnected from tech influencer women?

I have experience sponsoring tech influencers on the other side. It's kind of the wild west and there are no rules about being an influencer. The vast majority of engineers are NOT influencers and do NOT share their stories online in videos so I wouldn't generalize from their experiences. In terms of sponsorships, we partner with influencers that have a lot of integrity and try to support videos the creator wants to make on topics we also care about. All the people we work with have a really high bar and do diligence to make sure they genuinely want to support us and don't just sponsor anything and say anything. Some influencers do though and it's impossible to tell unfortunately. You are also correct that they can't share much about their companies unless the company is on board. Even sharing video from inside the office can violated confidentiality rules! If you want to know what people actually do and work on, I would try to network with people and chat with them. Even posting in this group and be like "where do you work and what do you actually do day to day now that you are a developer" is a good start.